As the clock hit 7:30 this week and the kids came running through the door saying hello to me with excitement it finally hit me I was alone. My collaborating teacher has taken leave for twelve weeks and I am staying in the classroom for the benefit of myself and the kids. I have a substitute who is with me all day everyday and covers when I am out on Thursdays for class.
The past few weeks I have been "preparing" for my collaborating teacher to no longer be here. Even though I have a sub in the classroom the instruction, the behinds the scenes action, the assessments, the data, you name it... I have to know it. I knew the responsibility that I was taking on and was nervous yet eager. As Monday morning came rolling around and reality sank in my heart drowned a little bit. Not at all because I had a change of heart but simply because the realization that no matter how hard you have worked to "prepare" to be alone you are simply not ready. I finally have learned you will never be ready. You can prepare as much as humanly possible and still not be ready. Being the stubborn person I am, I wanted everything perfect and it just truly wasn't going to happen. Seeing the joy in my kids eyes that I was still there this week even though my collaborating teacher wasn't really kept me going. They need me and as much as it may sound crazy I needed them this week too!
I have always been careful not to cross the boundaries with my collaborating teacher because it is her classroom and I am a guest in it. Being that it is my second year with her we have built a really strong relationship that I wouldn't change for anything. So, when she left on her final day she looked at me and said, "make it your own" and explained that she really wanted this to be an experience to discover who I am as a teacher in the classroom. So, in just a short week I took it upon myself to create a center schedule. Why? Well, all year centers have been a challenge and seemed like complete chaos and unfortunately some things get pushed to the back burner. Once she left I knew it was something that could no longer be chaotic because I already was taking on guided reading which is like a new language to me! After hours of hair pulling I got the schedule perfect (at least for now) and implemented it this week. I asked the kids at the end of the week if they liked it and they said they did so we are going to continue it next week and from then on if it works well! Yayyy for baby steps! Speaking of guided reading, I have formed many opinions and have struggled with the structure of guided reading since I have seen it done in the classroom and read many different articles about it. Finally, this week the reading resource teacher shared a really cool two day guided reading lesson plan that I plan to try to implement this coming week or the week after. To me it seems more meaningful and works on all skills the students need. It allows them to really dig into the book. Woohoo for new resources. Ask me for it and I promise I will share! Finally, this week another struggle we have faced this year is fitting in writing time. This week I also made a writing goals chart and created a sticky for each student. I created a writing conference clipboard (Thank you Becky for the idea) and spoke to each student to come up with a goal. I wanted it to mean something to them not just post it up. So, now my goal is to hold writing conferences each week and get students stickies moving to new goals! They were really excited. It seemed to get them motivated because they want to see their sticky move.
Even though my collaborating teacher is gone she has only been a phone call away and has helped me plan and stay calm. Also, I am thankful for the first grade team and administration I work with. They look at me as another teacher and have been more than helpful and encouraging this week. Additionally, I am extremely thankful for the sub that was placed in my classroom. She is there to help and assist. Another body in the room is wonderful for me! She doesn't do the teaching BUT it is a set of hands and eyes and another wonderful relationship for my students to build and have.
The journey has just taken a different path I never expected it to. It has provided me with an amazing opportunity as a final intern that I am so thankful for. I cannot wait to see what happens in the upcoming weeks! I have already learned a lot in one week. The biggest thing I learned this week is that no matter how prepared I am I'll never feel ready and the best thing I can do is try my very best and do what is best for my kids!
Successes this week:
- Created new Literacy Center Schedule (YAY!!)
- Got a new resource for Guided Reading (WOOT!!)
- Created Writing Goals chart and Writing Conference clipboard (WOOHOO!!!)
- Received my official PASSING score reports for my Subject Area and Professional Education Certification Exams :)
- SURVIVED my first week without collaborating teacher :P
- Worked towards reaching my Math goal :)
- Planned and taught Guided Reading and RTI
- Stuffed and sent home report cards alone
- Got fair tickets home :)
Graduation Countdown... 83 days! :)
The past few weeks I have been "preparing" for my collaborating teacher to no longer be here. Even though I have a sub in the classroom the instruction, the behinds the scenes action, the assessments, the data, you name it... I have to know it. I knew the responsibility that I was taking on and was nervous yet eager. As Monday morning came rolling around and reality sank in my heart drowned a little bit. Not at all because I had a change of heart but simply because the realization that no matter how hard you have worked to "prepare" to be alone you are simply not ready. I finally have learned you will never be ready. You can prepare as much as humanly possible and still not be ready. Being the stubborn person I am, I wanted everything perfect and it just truly wasn't going to happen. Seeing the joy in my kids eyes that I was still there this week even though my collaborating teacher wasn't really kept me going. They need me and as much as it may sound crazy I needed them this week too!
I have always been careful not to cross the boundaries with my collaborating teacher because it is her classroom and I am a guest in it. Being that it is my second year with her we have built a really strong relationship that I wouldn't change for anything. So, when she left on her final day she looked at me and said, "make it your own" and explained that she really wanted this to be an experience to discover who I am as a teacher in the classroom. So, in just a short week I took it upon myself to create a center schedule. Why? Well, all year centers have been a challenge and seemed like complete chaos and unfortunately some things get pushed to the back burner. Once she left I knew it was something that could no longer be chaotic because I already was taking on guided reading which is like a new language to me! After hours of hair pulling I got the schedule perfect (at least for now) and implemented it this week. I asked the kids at the end of the week if they liked it and they said they did so we are going to continue it next week and from then on if it works well! Yayyy for baby steps! Speaking of guided reading, I have formed many opinions and have struggled with the structure of guided reading since I have seen it done in the classroom and read many different articles about it. Finally, this week the reading resource teacher shared a really cool two day guided reading lesson plan that I plan to try to implement this coming week or the week after. To me it seems more meaningful and works on all skills the students need. It allows them to really dig into the book. Woohoo for new resources. Ask me for it and I promise I will share! Finally, this week another struggle we have faced this year is fitting in writing time. This week I also made a writing goals chart and created a sticky for each student. I created a writing conference clipboard (Thank you Becky for the idea) and spoke to each student to come up with a goal. I wanted it to mean something to them not just post it up. So, now my goal is to hold writing conferences each week and get students stickies moving to new goals! They were really excited. It seemed to get them motivated because they want to see their sticky move.
Even though my collaborating teacher is gone she has only been a phone call away and has helped me plan and stay calm. Also, I am thankful for the first grade team and administration I work with. They look at me as another teacher and have been more than helpful and encouraging this week. Additionally, I am extremely thankful for the sub that was placed in my classroom. She is there to help and assist. Another body in the room is wonderful for me! She doesn't do the teaching BUT it is a set of hands and eyes and another wonderful relationship for my students to build and have.
The journey has just taken a different path I never expected it to. It has provided me with an amazing opportunity as a final intern that I am so thankful for. I cannot wait to see what happens in the upcoming weeks! I have already learned a lot in one week. The biggest thing I learned this week is that no matter how prepared I am I'll never feel ready and the best thing I can do is try my very best and do what is best for my kids!
Successes this week:
- Created new Literacy Center Schedule (YAY!!)
- Got a new resource for Guided Reading (WOOT!!)
- Created Writing Goals chart and Writing Conference clipboard (WOOHOO!!!)
- Received my official PASSING score reports for my Subject Area and Professional Education Certification Exams :)
- SURVIVED my first week without collaborating teacher :P
- Worked towards reaching my Math goal :)
- Planned and taught Guided Reading and RTI
- Stuffed and sent home report cards alone
- Got fair tickets home :)
Graduation Countdown... 83 days! :)